Friday, July 07, 2006

Lesson 5: Old Habits Die Hard, and Beating Them to Death Doesn't Always Guarantee Their Demise

So I'm living with my two best friends now. Just like the old days. Just like in college when we had that special "smoking" room out in the garage and my brother was crashing on my couch after they released him from jail in Montana and he rode Amtrak all the way to California and we built that obscene magazine picture montage on the wall and my landlord kept eyeing me suspiciously because he knew that something wasn't quite right about our living situation but he couldn't quite figure out what that was.

We don't have a smoking room anymore, and my brother is now a happily settled 25 year old living with his beautiful wife and three kids in Arizona. But here I am, chasing 30, and living in my best friends' spare room as she heads off to her job working for a state agency a county over and he heads off to the gym to widen and thicken his already gargantuan shoulders and talk shop to the other body builder/cage fighters.

And I sit here at home (when I'm not at the gym with him), sipping coffee and outlining my busy day (knowing I may only knock off one or two things on my growing to-do list despite my best intentions) wondering what the hell I did with my life to end up here. I'm not 18 anymore and this behavior is ridiculous.

But sometimes it's good to move in retrograde and let the future come up behind you as you ponder your past. I think it makes for a more well-rounded personality. Or so I keep telling myself.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Use this as a measuring stick: Are you still wearing your pajamas at noon? -Wendy ; )

Anonymous said...

Hey, Heidi,
Our writing group misses you very much and wish you would bounce back to the SC pines.
We decided that we want to telephone you during one of our meetings so all of us can talk on the speaker.
Our creativity has been going full blast and all the novels are excellent. Each has developed his or her own writing style and each one is different, yet unique. Wish you were here with us.
So, you're living with your best friends but you didn't mention your sons. Are they with you now or here in SC?
You have my email address, I think, so please reply to my email box.
Love from me and the "group",
Betty

Creations by Laurel-Rain Snow said...

I just stumbled on your blog via Marilyn, whose blog I follow. And now I am following yours! So I'm starting to read your posts from the beginning, since I want to see all the lessons! And because I am fascinated by people who start over (having done this a few times myself!).

I am also a writer and met Marilyn through our Central Valley authors group.